Chicken Tikka Masala – So You Suck at Cooking

Alright, today we are going to make Chicken Tikka Masala this dish is very popular all across United Kingdom of England. In fact, it’s one of Britain’s national dishes, just like fish and chips is. They can be eaten by the sea or even beneath eclipses you know that one…


You Suck At Cooking Yeah You’re Totally Rubbish Fun Fact: The original fish and chips was served with wood chips. Such a hearty people, we’ve gone so soft… munches wood chips First step to making a chicken marinade is to Pour yourself a pint We’re gonna have a laugh Have a bite Have a really good time Enjoy ourselves before Brexit wrecks it One of the weirdest things about growing up in United Britain is that there’s so many different accents, it’s confusing It might even sound like I’m not from there, but.
.. that just means you haven’t been to the Cardiff area, where I’m from burps loudly quart to take around half-a-cup of fresh yogurt there’s a bunch of different spices you can use I’m gonna use a teaspoon of cumin …
going to take some fresh coriander Tumeric Turmaric Let’s call the whole thing off Here take some fresh garam masala This one’s really important ’cause it’s got the name Masala And it just like the dish so don’t skimp out on this one If you’re trying to save money on spices We’re gonna WangeJangle™ this together ’til it’s all sort’ve a tea kettle alright now we’re gonna take a fresh Can of chicken The idea behind the marinade is it’s supposed to make the chicken more tender And absorb the flavors, but if you ask me I think chicken’s already tender Both physically and emotionally so…

Its like how much more tender Do you need? ALWAYS BURN YOUR CHICKEN CAN FOR THE SAKE O’ SAFETY Chopping onions .


..And when you’re grating ginger Just carve off the end See that’s a handle Keeps you out of danger A lot of people don’t know the history of this dish Goes back to the druids when they were building Stonehenge They were pretty knackered from lifting very heavy rocks So one druid said, “You know what I’m pretty hungry” “Why don’t we mix up some chicken and spice?” And…that’s how it was made and then they Finished the job and everyone was happy And it’s been popular ever since, that was around 1920’s. A lot of Chicken Tikka Masala recipes call for garlic but I can’t be bothered right now, don’t really feel like chopping it so I’m not gonna put it in Right it’s time to make this sauce lets get some butter in there …

And we’re gonna get the spices in there Just cook that up a bit Appear to get a can of crushed tomatoes And then some more fresh yogurt I think a spoon of sugar would be really good This doesn’t have to be a spicy dish, but I’m gonna put in a little bit spice Just gonna let that cook for a while All right it’s time for tea Let’s have a proper brew Step one is to stroll on over to your bedroom And get your water bottle Take an ice cool cup o’ bog water Then you just take your water bottle And water surround it With the heat It may take a few seconds for it to be completely Hot And you want to take a bag and put it inside

there And then, you want to take a plate Biscuits breaking And have yourself 20 or 30 biscuits You want to get biscuits That are so boring, that going to make the tea Taste good it should be like Cardboard slurping sounds Ah, taste like home Where I am right now In England.

You take old chicken that’s been in the fridge Marinating, getting soooo much more tender than’s even possible Just going to spread that out on the pan And we got the ondo on five hundo It’s like the highest We ever had it in our whole life Right, it is like really exciting It is like danger It is like you better have one of these We are going to burn your fingers We are going to put it right on top We’re going to turn the lights so we can see what we are doing Then we are going to watch Oh? We can’t oh? Its too hot, it’s too dirty Spraying sounds All right Yep no Oh yeah there we go I can see it perfectly Its getting hot in here So take out all your chicken In the Mean while the sauce is cooking ever so Slowly, just very gently This is a lovely time to take a walk Along the public footpath As is my right Alright let’s make some rice That goes in there Then two times the water, One Two Just cook that till its cooked Basmati, Basmolti Let’s not fight, there we go Nope, let’s try this No another Close enough Sigh There you not going anywhere are you Right the chicken is getting black I almost forgot about it Don’t look away Do not check your text messages Do not forget you’ve got something on the broil Awhhh, you cheeky bastard Come on! I don’t got all day!


You didn’t take this long when the druids made you, I bet You had more respect Oh, Christ Almighty Look at that There we go Now we’re ready So let’s get this Chicken And you’ll want to cook it for a few more minutes Want to chop up some coriander Take some of your beautiful rice Hmm looks really good You’ll want to put some of the herbs on top Alright so thats Chicken Tikka Masala Keep in mind because its a national dish of Britain You’re legally obligated to give the first bite to the Queen Here you go I’m not allowed to say anything To her unless she speaks to you first And, um, it’s just a common courtesy To give, uh, to give a bite to Prince Phillip, the forgotten one, Here you go, Help yourself, take your time, alright And, uh, you don’t want to forget about, uh Harry, got to He’s got a pretty big appetite it’s like the same colour.

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